Paul and Allan Discuss Happiness

Paul: ….we knew one day filing cabinets wouldn’t be sufficient to contain all our information and that’s why computers were created. May I add, AHEAD OF TIME, because we are the kind of species that understands things and how to navigate life’s serious problems!

Allan: Paul you know what? Eventually we will evolve and realize the Kimqualcom paperwork was a big waste of energy. The Eternal Butt Weld won’t put a reprimand in your file for having messy hair.

Paul: Well Allan if it wasn’t for paperwork life expectancy wouldn’t have grown so rapidly, Science is Progress. Life was horrific before Kimqualcom didn’t you know? Our messy-haired ancestors stayed up late bludgeoning each other under the full moon. Do you really think that was better?

Allan: I would rather risk a bludgeon than another happiness report Paul, it looks your like your numbers are going down. Where’s your progress now Paul? If you’re happy and you know it.

Allan looks at Paul mischievously

Allan: Oh come on Paul, you know the words. Sing it with me! Your age cohort scored 8.8/10 in the 2025 Kimqualcom happiness report, that’s a bursting geyser! The least you could do is a little dance with me. Come on grab your poncho and let’s go for a dance in the wet zone!

Paul: Allan I just worked twelve hours, first commute then work then the second commute then you! I might start filling up regular then you won’t bother me.

Allan: Paul you always come back. You could stop at any other station along the way but you know I wouldn’t be there. You would miss me, I’m your best friend.

Paul hops back inside his car

Paul: Ah Allan, eventually you’ll grow up! You’ll realize you made a big mistake and wasted your youth huffing premium gas when you could have been filing paperwork into computers like me.

Allan: Exactly Paul, you’re very astute. That’s why I admire you so much. You could even be president of Kimqualcom then maybe you could afford the extra premium gas.

Paul: Maybe it would be too much for you to handle and I wouldn’t have to deal with you anymore! Good day Allan!

Paul speeds off into the loop while Allan huffs the fumes just short of extra premium